Good God Lemon, you’d think a woman who wears tennis shoes every day would be able to hit a decent forehand.
when youre laying down and your pet walks across your internal organs and youre like OW FUCK and they dont even care they just keep standing on your spleen like its their job
so this housewife decided to rewrite the harry potter series into christian books so that her kids wont be reading about witchcraft and i just cant eveN BREATHE BC THIS IS SO HYSTERICAL
read it here:
Yes it is as bad as you think
"Birthdays are not of God," Harry verbalized knowingly;
Let the celebrating begin!
Whilst in Sydney in 1994, a man apparently tries to assassinate Prince Charles. And not a single fuck was given by His Royal Highness.
THEY’RE ALL JUST STARING AND JUDGING
"How rude…this bodyguard just shoved me!"
I want to be this rich and indifferent one day
- I should be studying but I really need to fucking rant okay
So I’m supposed to be studying for math but this is more important right now.
I hate anxiety..
i just answered the phone on a telemarketer calling and answer “Greg’s Morgue! You kill ‘em, we chill ‘em! How may I help you?”
the sheer panic in...
nostalgia is fun for like 5 seconds and then it’s just really painful